So I thought I'd "kick off" this blog by sharing the main reason behind my passion for the rescue and the work that it does. For those of you that know me, this will come as NO big surprise.........Tuff. There it is. That's my #1 motivation.
Of course he's not the only reason. I love horses and I care passionately about the welfare of animals in need. I admire Gretchen and the heart that motivates her to take in these animals, often uncared-for castoffs, even when her own times are hard and the barn is practically bursting with the number of horses it holds.
Tuff's story is not particularly heart wrenching. He's not ever going to make front page news of the Seattle Times for the way he came into PHH. But that doesn't matter. The fact that he's here, and he's come so far, is a testament in and of itself as to why the rescue is so vital in the work that it does.
He came into the rescue in December of 2005-ish and was ordered on stall rest because of abscesses in both back feet. Totally preventable, but what can you do? Anyway. He's a big, beautiful QH gelding with a wonderfully crooked white blaze down his face (my friend Becky fondly refers to it as his sneer) and gentle. Also in quite a bit of pain and unable to really just BE a horse. We started slow with long, gentle grooming sessions and short walks. He could usually be turned out into the soft dirt of the round pen, but nothing more and with no real exercise.
Coming up on our "one year anniversary", I am amazed at how far he's come. Particularly in the last few months. I've watched him transform from a weary, gentle, broken creature to a proud, strong-willed, and sometimes obstinate brat of a boy. He's not the typical gentle and sweet gelding that we've seen come through the rescue before, in different forms. This is not to say he's not a darling, because in my heart, he is. But he's also pushy, standoffish, bratty, and downright bossy at times. And I love him for all of those qualities.
I love him for the way he's in tune to me. I love him for the times I've come to the barn, broken and world weary myself and aching from the pains of a home in turmoil, and he's made me forget myself. He's made me forget, albeit temporarily, the pain. I stroke his long neck and feel the struggles he's been through and I've always felt, deep down, he understood mine too. I love him for the times he challenges me to do more, to stay on my toes and attentive to his needs. And I love him for the times he knows I just need an easy, quiet time with a friend. I remember in particular one time when I had just had an awful time and came to the barn, looking for escape. Tuff was turned out in the pasture and spotted me walking towards him from pretty far away and just watched the whole time (he's very much like that, he takes in everything). I let myself into the pasture and just stood with him for a while. He ambled over, sniffed at me a little (looking for treats, no doubt), then wandered off a bit and found a length of strap and gingerly picked it up in his teeth. He then started swinging his head up and down and tossing the strap around. In spite of my hurting, I couldn't stifle the laugh. After setting it down, he slowly came towards me and stood with his head inches from me. I reached out and stroked his neck, side, shoulders....the calming influence it had on me, and his sweet willingness to just....be...overwhelmed me. The tears started pouring down and I buried my face in his neck. In spite of this, I felt such a calm and such a peace wash over me, one that I've never had before. He just....knew. And I love him for it.
What is incredible about Tuff and his progress over this past year is his absolute resilience. He's been battered and knocked down, but he never fails to press forward and be himself. I've seen his own struggles mirror my own and I draw strength in just being near him. He's a part of my heart and I will never, ever be able to repay what he has been to me.
That's the beauty in animals. Frightened and abused, they are nevertheless so forgiving. So resilient. I can only hope to emulate a fraction of that in my own life.